Self Analysis

In order to make positive and sustainable changes in our lives we must first understand who we are right now. The following process is a simple one and all it requires is for you to write.

To start uncovering ‘you’, all you need to do is write about the area of your life you want to understand or improve. For example, if you desire to understand the  relationships in your life, you would write about relationships. If it is health write about health. Spend 10 minutes of focused writing morning and afternoon for 2 days about the topic you want to work on, or on any topic that comes to mind.

At the end, review what you have written, because the words you have captured contain your values, beliefs, and blockers that you can work on. 

Rock and Roll

@robwway

PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

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What is your focus?

You may have just read the blog on focus, if you did you might also like to think through the statements below and flex your analysis muscles.

What is the focus for each of these statements, is the focus on what you do want or on what you don’t want?

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. Whats the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Sensory Awareness 

Sensory awareness is being able to read the subtle physiological changes our bodies make when we think or feel certain things. As things change internally, small changes can occur externally that indicate something has changed in what a person is thinking. There are 5 areas where visible shifts may occur to indicate an internal change that we talked about in a previous Mastermind session, these include changes in breathing, changes in lip size, changes in the eyes, changes to skin colour and its tone.

Rock and Roll

Rob 

PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?  

The Memory Palace or Roman Room

Today’s Mastermind topic is on memory once again, this time though we are going to use the classic Roman Room method. A method that Roman senators would use to recount statistics of their city to aid in their bid for support from the senate. Through the ability to recount so much information on their citizens fears and desires, senators were able to sway the others to their cause.
The strategy is quite a simple one and to make it easier we will be relying on your existing memory, not your creativity to create a fantastical, complex castle to store your memories.

We will be using a house or apartment you use to live in, a location you walked into every day and every night. A place you can remember like the back of your hand. 

To use this strategy you recall your old home and every fixed item that was in that home. It is those fixed items you will ‘peg’ things you want to remember, too.

If you need to remember to call the gas company, you might imagine your gas cooker leaking gas, noticing the smell of gas as you walk into your home. 

Or if you need to call a friend you might imagine them sitting on your couch as you look around the room in your minds eye.

When you want to remember key pieces of information you place meaning full images on or in those fixed sections of your old home. And as you take a virtual tour of your ‘roman room’ you notice each of those things your placed on fixed items.

Then once you have taken action on the thing you want to remember you clear the slate and leave your self with only the fixed items in that house.

And that is the short version of a very effective memory strategy.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?  

What the VAK did you say?

This activity is to help you hone your ability to identify what representational system a person might be. You will be listening for and recording any visual (V), Auditory (A), Kinaesthetic (K) and Auditory Digital (Ad) language you hear a person use over the phone.

To complete this activity, have a note pad and pen next to the phone and with your next phone call complete the following steps:

– Write down the person’s name

– Write down any key words the person uses. EG. Dude, cool, fun, great etc

– Write down any VAKAd language that the person uses

The intention with this activity is to get you looking for the different indicators that are present in any one phone conversation; this will hone your ability to have good attention to detail. Practice this process every time you are Woking the phones until you begin to hear more and more. You should get to a point where you start to hear the key words and phrases and not need to write them down, then you will know you have reached the next level.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Preferred Representational System Questions

I have already talked about Preferred Representational Systems in a previous blog, and we have covered it to death in the face to face mastermind sessions.

What has not gone up is the test we did to figure out your preferred rep system. So take a moment to fill in the activity below and I’ll shoot you back a email with an indication of what your preferred rep system is.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

VAK Observation Activity

A lot has been covered in the mastermind face to face sessions so far. One of the early topics was communication styles, one of the strategies I suggest to improve you ability to notice the different ways people communicate is below. 

This process is used to increase your sensory awareness so as you can start to find how people communicate. 
Focus on one sensory modality each day and continue to rotate them until it becomes normal in everyday life to notice HOW people are saying things. When conducting this exercise block out all other senses weather that be literally or by using your intent.

Stop for one minute ten times per day and notice

1. All the visual (V) things happening around you

2. All the auditory (A) sounds going on around you

3. All the feelings (K) that you feel with your body

4. All the smells (O) around you

5. The taste (G) of things you eat

Notice every fine detail; keep a journal of anything that stands out and this will hone your ability notice the different styles of communication people have. 

If you notice a theme and you cannot connect how or what it means for you, contact your coach for some help understanding what is going on.

Rock and Roll

Rob

P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Purpose, Mission, Vision, Legacy & Values Activity

What are you going to leave behind for the world when you turn to dust?

Activity Context

Understanding why you are doing something, what it is made up of, how you will get there and what you will leave behind is a key part to any business venture (or as an individual). It lays the foundation for the activities, products or actions you take. Finding the answers to what is my purpose, vision, mission, values and legacy give you a guiding light in a world of distraction. Once set it also gives a group a common reason to work on a project.

For this activity each of these words are designed to extract specific information from you, each has its purpose for being used and will become the steps you need to take, the guide you use to make sure you are on track.

Purpose:

This is the ‘why’, why are you doing what it is you are doing. In the personal development world it is considered they key thing to figure out in life. If you know your purpose and live it, every thing else will fall into place. Thought I do agree with that way of thinking, the concept has been turned into the Holy Grail and has become unobtainable and definable for many. In the context of this activity the goal is to make it obvious, obtainable and actionable. It is simply the why you are going to do something.

Visions:

This is the ‘what’, what are you moving towards. What exactly is going to happen when you are living your purpose, what are you doing, what are people getting, what has happened as a result of your actions. The vision is what you as an individual is moving towards, or what a group of people are tying to achieve.

Mission:

This is the ‘how’, how are you going to achieve your purpose & vision. How are you going to get to what you what to produce? It is the products, tools and actions you are going to take.

Values:

Values are what keeps you on track, they are the result of your family, schooling, religion, friends and up bringing. Developed from birth to the age of 21 where they are generally fixed for life. Values are what you hold as important in life & business. Values are thinks like honesty, courage and loyalty. They can be anything that is important to you, and it is what will keep you moving to wards your mission, vision and purpose.

Legacy:

Your legacy is what you leave behind. Come the day you die (or stop doing what it is you have been doing) what will you leave for your children (boss, business or friends). In the context of life, what are you leaving your family when you depart. In the context of business, if you were to sell, what would you be selling. Finding your legacy, what you would leave behind can be one of the best places to start when thinking about how your values will guide you, how you will produce what you will leave behind (mission), what your vision is for the things you produce and the purpose for doing it.

The Activity

Start by picking the context, do you want to do this activity for a business or for your personal life.

(Circle / highlight / bold your choice)

Business / Personal  

Starting where ever comes naturally, work through each heading and write down any and all thoughts that come to your mind. Why are you doing what you are doing, what is it that you will do, how will you do it and what will be left behind.

Fill in each heading:

Purpose (Why):

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………

Vision (What):

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………

Mission (How):

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………

Legacy (What is Left Behind):

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………

Once you have filled in each heading, ask your self the following question.

When I think about my purpose, vision, mission & legacy, what is important to me in the context of these. You are looking for your values, list out every thing that comes to mind.

You are looking for individual words like ‘trust’ or ‘connection’. Individual words that have meaning for you, that strike a cord and if you did not have would mean you could not go forward with the project.

In the context of my purpose, vision, mission and legacy above it is important to me that I have………….

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………

If I had all of the things above, it would also be important that I have…..

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………………………….……………………
Once you have your list of values, things that are important to you, look through the list and number the top ten most important values to you. These now become your top ten values in this business or life. They are the things that guide you and keep you on track.

Once you have completed this activity, make a point of reviewing it and updating it when things change. Also, if you would like me to review the work you have done? Fill in the form below and I can give you feedback on what you came up with.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Developing a Better Memory: Number Rhyme Peg System

The reason why people learn the number rhyme memory peg system is to improve short term memory. It is used to reduce or replace your reliance on physically written notes or lists kept on your smart devices. If you want to go to the shop with a list in your mind, this is one of the tools that enables that. If you want to avoid looking back 10 times at the fuel pump when you go to pay for petrol, this tool will help you.
What it uses to be effective is your minds ability to hook information to fun images that rhyme with specific numbers, in this case 1 – 10.
How you get your number rhyme memory peg system to work is, you start with the numbers 1 – 10. Along with ten empty boxes beside it.
Your goal is to fill these 10 boxes with funny, fun, imaginative, crazy images that rhyme with each number.
Running through each number, trusting what ever image or word first comes up for you.
Draw these images next to their corresponding number, if you cant draw, write, or even better. Search for the images and insert them.
Once you have your 10 images, you want to begin running them through your head in the following order:
  1. One to Ten
  2. Ten to One
  3. In a Random Order
By now you should be able to see the images, hear any sounds that go with them and very quickly begin to recall each image as the number it represent.
It is these images that be come your ‘pegs’ that you can hook information to.
Now that you have you 10 memory hooks, we can start to hang information off each peg.
For example my 10 Number Rhyme Memory Hooks are:
  1. Gun
  2. Poo
  3. Tree
  4. Boar
  5. Dive
  6. Bricks
  7. Heave
  8. Plate
  9. Mine
  10. Hen
When I want to remember the number of the fuel pump I will simply recall the number rhyme that matches my pump. So if at pump one I might imagine walking in to the counter with a gun. Or if it was pump 6, I would be thinking about bricks.
If I am thinking about a list of shopping, you will want to create interesting associations between your list and the object you are going to purchase.
For example, if you need to buy the following items:
  • Toothpaste
  • Milk
  • Bacon
  • Eggs
Using the number rhyme hooks I imagine the following:
  • A gun that only shoots toothpaste
  • A milk bottle covered in poo
  • A tree with bacon hanging from its leaves
  • A Boar laying an egg
The images I have in my mind are very graphic and imaginative, and the out come of this. When running through my list I see four very unforgettable images.
When I get to the shops, I just have to run through my list, get what I am there for and then clear the list and its associations.
The next question you might ask from here is that it seems to take a lot of work to do this, why not just write it down?
Well you might be right, and all I would ask is that you add this in as ‘just another tool’ you can use. If you can lock down ten things that just come to you, it will always be faster to use this memory hooks system, than righting something down and brining it up again.
Or you might try the number shape system, if rhyming is not you thing.
Rock and Roll
Rob

Coaching Assessment

If you have been thinking about getting help to make positive changes in your life, but are not ready to pay for help or even talk to some one other than google. Have a look at the sort of questions a coach might ask you to start identifying areas to work on.

The questions below are designed to help you start the self analysis process. Plus, if you decide to work with a coach, these are the sorts of questions you would expect them to ask you. It would enable your coach to identify areas of your life that could be helped by the coaching process.

So take a moment to copy out each question and start writing out your answers, or fill in the form and submit it for some free advice on what areas you should focus on to begin (or take the next step) on your personal development journey.

Rock and Roll
Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Perceptual Positions

This activity is perfect for thinking out of the box, for connecting with someone you will probably never meet, for exploring issues between you and someone else. As well as a very effective way for resolving issues between you and someone else.

It requires you to think outside of the box, and expand your thinking.

This is a thinking and doing activity that requires you to have three spaces set out in front of you.

The Positions Are:

One = Yourself
Two = The other person
Three = The observer

The Process:

1. In position 1 – from you own perspective – see the situation through your own eyes, be fully associated. Notice you own self-talk, what you see, hear, feel, think and value from you own perspective about the events.

2. In position 2 – from the other person’s perspective – see the situation through their eyes, be fully associated into their body. Imagine what you would see, hear, feel, think and value from their perspective about the events.

3. In position 3 – from the observer perspective – see the situation through their eyes; be fully associated into their body. Imagine what you would see, hear, feel, think and value from their perspective about the events. What objectivity or wisdom would you give.

4. Step back into position 1 – from your own perspective – see the situation through your own eyes, be fully associated. Notice your new understandings about the issue or situation, what you have learned about yourself. What new choices do you have now?

Have a play with this activity, and if you need any help figuring it out, let me know.


Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

The meaning of your communication is the response you get!

The last 6 months has seen me repeat this statement over and over again. ‘The meaning of your communication is the response you get’ is a neuro linguistic programming (NLP) presupposition.

And in the IT business analyst / training space, this presupposition couldn’t be more relevant. When teaching a piece of software or implementing change. Most of the time you’re going to be doing it “to” people. Starting on the back foot, so communication is going to be key to success.

The quickest way to finding out if your message has been received, is to observe people’s actions after your instructions.

If you get the outcome you are expecting, then all is well. And if you get somthing different, then it is time to change how you are saying things.

I listened to the complaints of my staff (and my sel at times), about how the customer doesn’t get it. Or they never listen. I choose to believe that we are 100% responsible for our communication.

So when we say something to someone and they don’t get it, change how you say it.  

 Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Connecting with Others

So often when interacting with others, the focus is on what we are saying and what we want out of the interaction. Taking the time practicing how to connect with others will help improve your communication and how well your interactions go with others.
There is always so much more to communication that a simple “6 steps”, but this should give you a few steps to follow and an activity to go through to get you on the path to creating rapport with the people you interact with.

Try the following:

Be Present / Be Still: When communicating be present. Truly hear what they have to say. Focus on what they are saying, not on what you will say next. One of the easiest ways to be present is to be still. Settle your mind, your breathing, and your emotions. Be still and be present with the person you are communicating with.

Breath: Connect with your breath. Breathe into the bottom of your belly and fill it to the top of your chest. Notice how you are breathing, is it fast or slow, high or low? Notice what is happening for you right now. And once you know what is happening for you and how you are breathing, notice the same things in the person you are communicating with.

Eyes: Connect with the person’s eyes. Not for the whole time but all thorough out the conversation. Really see that person and show them that you are looking at what they are saying, that you are present with them.

Posture: Sit or stand the same as the other person, not mimicking, but matching. This is a subtle process where you just notice a crossed leg, how they hold them selves, where there arms are and what they may or may not be leaning on and doing something similar to them.

Smile: Is there really more to say? If you hear something that is meaningful for you and you like, let them know. A warm friendly smile will some times break down barriers in communication.

Connection: This is all about connection. Connect your body to the moment. Connect with your breath, with the person’s eyes and meet them with a smile. Imagine that there is a link between you and the other person, like an unseen bond that keeps you both present in the now.

NOW…….

This is truly just a sneak peak into what rapport is but I know if you can do one or all of these every day with each person you communicate with you will find you begin to create a deeper connection with everyone you meet.

Personal Connection Ritual

This activity should be done once a day or how every many times you would like to do it. All you need is a mirror, and the most important person. YOU!

The reason why you go through this activity is to connect you with you. Become comfortable with yourself and who you are. Connect with you at a deep level so that way when it comes time to connect with others you are ready to do it at a deeper level.

Personal Connection Ritual:

Stand in front of a mirror keeping your mind and body as still as possible, stand how the most confident you would stand.

Close your eyes and connect with your breath. Take a deep breath all the way into the bottom of your belly, filling it from the bottom all the way to the top of your chest and exhale. (Do these 3 or more times)

Open and connect with your eyes in the mirror and say the following mantra, “I am complete and whole lacking nothing” (Repeat 3 or more times)

Smile with a warm, loving smile at your self and imagine what truly connecting with you feels like.

Say “Thank You”

If you go through this process once, once a day or once a week I guarantee you will feel more connected with you and with others. And I challenge every one to give this a go for 1 week every day and just see what happens.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

7 Tips for knowing what people are thinking

I spend a lot of time working one on one with people, often trying to convince them to take part in things they don’t want to do (change is hard for most people).I am not the best communicator in the world, but I get it right often enough. And some of my current team have noticed this, so I put together some key tips on how to figure out what people are thinking.

The reason I felt I could speak about this to them is, I am:

-A husband;

-A father of a baby girl, which demands I know what she wants or tears will flow;

-Serial entrepreneur, having worked in multiple industries and on multiple businesses;

-Contract trainer; having trained over 8000 people;

-Constant sales man; once told I could sell ice to Eskimos who wants to know every thing about people and what makes them tick.

So here are my 7 tips, based on my real life experiment, to know what people are thinking:

  1. The Feet. The first thing I do when reading a person is to look at their feed, not what shoes they have on, but the direction they are pointing. Simply put the feet will point at they want.
  2. Body Lean. Are they leaning towards or away from me? A person wants to be near what they want and away from what they don’t want (make sure you look for more than one thing, you might be especially pungent that day).
  3. Hand Rub. If it is really cold in the room and a person is rubbing their hands together fast I would say they are just cold, how ever if you just told them something that should be relevant and useful, looking for that hand rub means they like what they are hearing.
  4. Eyes. Pupil metrics (talked about in David J, Lieberman’s book; You can read anyone) is the name given to the analysis of pupil dilation when customers look at products in store (cameras measure the pupil dilatation). When the pupils are big and black the customer likes what they see, very, very small and they just don’t like what they are looking at. Same thing goes for everything you just told them.
  5. So you are looking at? After talking with someone and you think you know what they are thinking or feeling and you want to test that theory. Run you mind through the following check list: Looking at the feet, where are they pointing (to the door or at you). Are they leaning towards you or away from you (towards is good, away not so much). Noticing any positive hand rubbing and or pupil dilation? If so, I would say it is a fair guess things are going well.
  6. So what do I do with that? Noticing these things will give you a very good picture of weather your message is getting across to that person and if they are engaged in what you are saying. If it is all positive, keep going. If you are getting the opposite, it is time to change your approach.
  7. What about their language? I have spent a lot of time talking to people about the language we use and what it can tell you. For now stop missing the obvious (don’t get caught up speaking the way you like to speak), hear the words people say and use the same ones. Having the flexibility to communicate the way others do, will make the biggest impact.

And that is the start point, reading people is far more complex than 7 points, but they will get you on the road. If you find your self trying out any of these, and want more. Research the different books on body language, micro expressions and communication.

Rock and Roll

Rob

PS. What is the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

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