Anchoring Script

Anchoring State Elicitation

“Can you recall a time when you were totally (desired state), do you remember a specific time?
As you go back to that time now, go right back to that time, float down into you body and see what you saw, hear what you heard, and really feel the feelings of being totally_________!”
Resource Anchor
Stack multiple positive states in one location like totally powerful, playful, loved, fall down laughing, confident etc.
Collapse Anchors
Choose a negative state to eliminate & the powerfully positive state’s needed to replace the negative.
Elicit and anchor the positive state’s on one knuckle 5+ times & Break state
Elicit and anchor the negative state on the next knuckle one time & Break state
Fire both simultaneously until integration is complete
Release the negative anchor, while continuing to hold the positive anchor
Release the positive anchor 5 seconds later
Test: “So the next time you (encounter the trigger) what happens?”
Neural Bridge
Used for moving someone from Procrastination to Motivation, Fear to Confidence, Anger to Playfulness, Frustration to Calm or Feeling stuck with no options to being excited about all possibilities.
Bridge Design
Decide on the first and last state
Criteria for intermediate states: First intermediate state can be away from motivated, all intermediate states must have movement, what will be a sufficiently intense state to move the chain onto the next state?
Second to last state must be towards motivated, the state should be self-initiated, should NOT be how they already do it & should be a natural progression.
Steps to a Neural Bridge
Choose the undesirable state that you want to change and choose the desired end state, identify 2-3 states in between that can be utilised to successfully create movement from one state to the next.
Elicit each state and stack each anchor separately on the individual knuckles 3 times each, break state between each anchor and test each stacked anchor separately.
Chain states to each other by firing the 1st state, when the first state peaks fire the 2nd anchor simultaneously and then release the 1st .
Hold 2nd anchor. When 2nd state peaks, fire the 3rd anchor simultaneously; then release the 2nd , hold 3rd anchor, when 3rd state peaks, fire the 4th anchor simultaneously, then release the 3rd and hold onto the 4th, until the 4th peaks then release the 4th. Break state
Test by touching the 1st knuckle and firing the 1st link in the bridge. The client should chain through all the states and wind up in the desired state
Break state
Future pace: “Can you think of an indefinite time in the future where in the past you may have experienced that old state, and notice what happens for you now.”
The Ring Of Power
One of the presuppositions of NLP is that each of us has all the resources we need inside of ourselves. The ring of power or circle of excellence is a techniques that allows us to access our innate resources that we retrieve from our unconscious mind. The ring of power is a resource anchor that is useful in many circumstances.
Anchor a number of positive powerful states to an imagined circle on the floor; Imagine a ring of power in front of you as a circle about 2 feet in diameter

Now remember a time when you were totally _________ (eg motivated) and when you are totally ________ (motivated), then step into the ring.

When the state begins to subside then step out of the ring

Add additional desired states in the same way

When done adding all states, step into the ring of power and test

Step out of the ring and test

Future pace
Rock and Roll
PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Looking for a mentor?

In a recent article for ‘The Shaker‘ I wrote about the idea of ‘rethinking mentoring‘.

Central to the idea is the use of books. Looking through my current audio book history, I 20 different books by 13 different authors. All of which I would consider are my mentors, the content varies from personal development, to leadership, marketing, sales training and understanding my ego.

The reason I consider these authors my mentors can be found in the definition. Mentor – ‘an experienced and trusted adviser’.

I currently don’t have direct access to Gary Vee or Seth Godin, in the absence of this I can read any of their books. In doing this I can get insight into what they think is important, how they suggest I can execute on their suggestions and in general become a better version of my self by learning from an experienced and trusted advisor.

So if you are looking for a mentor, but don’t know where to look, start with a book!

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Thanks a lot Qantas!

Don’t you hate it when you are on a plane, seated in your seat and some person puts their arse right on you. WTF!

It happened to me a couple of days ago and all I can think to my self is, pay attention to what is going around you.

I want my flight without arse in my face, arse face. 

Of course, being obsessed with PD, it makes me think about awareness and how so many people are completely unaware of their environment, what’s happening around them and what impact they have on others. 

Part of me just wants to yell in their face and tell them to get stuffed. Then, there is  another part of me that wonders, why do they have no idea? What is their perspective?

The long way the way to do this is through a technique called perceptual positions, which is about seeing things from three perspectives. Yours, theirs and an observers. 

The short way is to separate you from the equation and to pretend you are them? 

Simply put, imagine stepping into their shoes and:

  • see what they see, 
  • hear what they hear, and 
  • feel what they feel. 

What were they doing right in the moment that they messed with you?
Answer that then you will truly be on the path to understanding others perspectives. 

But let’s say someone reading this calls “bullshit”.
Let’s think about why I ended up with arse in my face? 

The passenger was making room for the people sitting next to him, he was focusing on removing his jacket while making polite conversation. He had no idea he was placing his butt on me. Do I still think, get stuffed? A little bit, but when I get over my BS I can see it was just a mistake. 

What have you been unaware of recently? Have you jumped to any conclusions?

Rock and Roll 


P.S. Whats the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

I hate you and this program!

I use to be a trainer for an IT program, not just any, but a really boring one. The sort of thing that people hated to use. 

On top of it being boring, people were forced to attend training, which had them even more excited to be there. 

This one time, a trainee rocked up, looked me right in the face and said “I fucking hate you and I hate this program“.

At this stage in my career I had completed my NLP presentation and platform skills training and I had become pretty good a crating rapport, even so, about a million thoughts went through my mind in that second. All I could muster was “welcome” with a smile of course. 

Over the course of the day it became clear this bloke had been forced to show up, had not been told why, in general had never really had success with computers and had only heard bad things about the software. By realizing these things, over about 6 hours I was able to explain the ‘why’, gave him some easy tips on how to be successful with a computer and demonstrated the benefits of the system. 

In life, people are going to show up in front of you that don’t know who you are and what you are about, they will have their preconceptions and beliefs that you cannot do anything about. What you can do is be open, honest, hear what’s happening for them and try your best to help. Building rapport can help too, but just doing those things will get you a long way…..

Unlike telling them ‘not to fuck with you’…. don’t do that one, it doesn’t work. 

Rock and Roll 


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Are you, you?

I just got on a jet in Tasmania and saw a face that I had not seen in years. It belonged to a bloke I had worked with as a mentor. 

Now he was 100% sure that he was going to work in the medical industry….. but here he was, a hugely confident team leader on my flight. 

So I have to wonder, how many people state what they want as a matter of fact. But then end up doing something completely different?

Or, is the problem we, or more specifically I, believe what will give us purpose is the job we do or the industry we are in. Maybe I’m missing the point?

I wonder if, to live our purpose, the best approach is to not worry about the industry you make the difference in is. Maybe what you are here on this earth to do is to bring the person you are in every moment, regardless of industry. 

So for me, the question I ponder now is not how to find my purpose and live it, but how do I make sure I am able to let 100% of my personality out every day. How am I able to be me, regardless of the situation I’m in?

So I ask you.

Are you, you 100% of the time?

Rock and Roll


PS. Whats the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

So Fu*+ing What?

I want to do what ever I can to help you get what you want. 

My goal is to help you understand what you want, define it and demonstrate how it differs from what you have been asking for.  

I want to teach you how to hear what people are truly saying, read what they are not, show you how to better understand others, how to communicate your desires to anyone, how to build strong connections with people, understand your self better, understand your helpful and hindering strategies, and help you build psychological resources that increase your probability of success.

I care about the people looking for answers and want to figure them selves out. 

I see my self as a part of the Personal Development movement, probably not Tony Robbins or Zig Ziglar, but a part of it.

I want to make sure every person searching for help will find the answers they seek. 

I want to keep sharing with you the books, gurus, activities and tools that have helped me achieve success and help me understand who I am. 

Simply put, I want everyone to have success and help them get there. 

So who do I think you are? 

Who am I talking about? 

Who do I want to talk with?

I want to talk with you and I think you are curious, you want to know what makes you, you,you want something more from life than a 9-5 job, you believe you are destined to make a difference, you desperately want to understand what that is, and you want to live it daily. 

I believe you are frustrated with speaking and not being heard, frustrated with people in general, frustrated with their reactions to the world around them and to you.

I think you walk through book stores waiting for ‘that book’ to jump out at you, the one that will give you the answers you are looking for. 

You follow Gary Vee (, Seth Godin (, Grant Cardone ( and (insert every other inspirational person here) on Facebook/twitter/Instagram etc and love hearing what he/she/they have to say and at the same time you hate them a little bit and they annoy you, and there are 20 other people like them that inspire you to be a better you, but it still hasn’t clicked for you, yet. 

You were, are or have been looking for love and want to have a family and at the same time you get lost in social media, news, videos, Netflix, drinking, talking shit and all those other distractions. 

And every now and again you wake up and ask what you are doing with your life. 

Some times you are jealous of the success your peers have and you think you would find happiness if you had their job, partner or pay.

Ultimately I believe you are searching for your purpose and for something that will give your life meaning. 

The reason I know you think these things, is because I think and I believe them. 

And I know I am not some special and unique individual that is alone in my thinking. 

Though my experiences might be different to yours, I am still a human being just like you. 

So what, who the fuck am I?

Most importantly I am a husband and I am a father. 

I found the love of my life and we made a mother fucking human and it is the best thing I have ever done. 

I am obsessed with making sure I leave my human imprinted with my values, ideals, beliefs and strategies (at least the good ones). 

I want her to learn how to be a good human, how to ad value to the world and make a positive difference in the world. 

I want to die having left her lots of money, property, intellectual property that turns a profit, books, businesses and anything else that can fund her dreams. 

And I want her to not need it. 

I hope what I leave behind gives her everything her kids need to have success and that this lasts for every generation after her. 

Next, I identify my self as an entrepreneur by night and a business analyst by day.

I love working with people, love teaching people, helping people, basically anything to do with people. 

I have spend thousands and thousands of dollars studying body language, 

micro expressions, neuro linguistic programming (NLP), hypnosis, marketing, business, project management, and 

basically anything that has anything to do with all of that. 

Plus I read and read and read a lot!

I have run seminars for 5 – 150 people, teaching anything from communication styles ( to change management (

But again, so fucking what, what do I believe?!

I believe, like you, in searching for my purpose. 

I believe in making a difference in the world, that we all have something unique and valuable to give, that we should spend our entire lives trying to figure out what our purpose is and live it daily.

I believe connections with people matter and

that we all should put time into connecting with people like us (not everyone ever).

I believe we all should get everything that we want out of life, which is what I want to help you with, here and more.

Now I have been writing this while flying to Tasmania. 

I find my self in this moment, not knowing how to finish this rant, that was suppose to be one paragraph.

All I can think of is Woddy Harrelson in Zombieland ( and how he said goodbye……. “that will do pig, that will do”.

Rock and Roll


What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Just Do Your Job

It’s not a total joke….

If you have no grand designs of being an entrepreneur, if you enjoy your work and simply want to clime the corporate ladder, if you like working for the government and simply want to work your 40 hours per week, then this book is for you. 

‘Just Do Your Job’

What it takes to stand out in the workforce is simple, just do your job. Be clear on your role, what you are responsible for and what is expected from you. 

A good trick is to go for coffee with your boss and ask the following questions:

“What is important to you”

“What do you need from me”

“Is there anything I could do that would be a deal breaker”

What you will get from this conversation is a bit of insight into what is important to your boss and a map on how best to meet there needs, which will make their job easier and yours. 

Rock and Roll 


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Quick Start Topic 1-6

Below are the first 6 ‘Quick Start Topics’ from my first book Communicating Like A Boss, I thought I would give you a bit of a feel for what the book is about.

I hope you like what you read, if so, check out the full book….

Quick Start Topic #1: Define Your Focus

Before you go any further into this program, you need to get clear on what you want out of it.

The life wheel below will help you identify which part of you life you should focus on. The outside of the week represents ‘Perfect’, no action required, you are so happy with it, and nothing needs to change. The centre of the wheel represents dissatisfaction, issues, and need’s attention, and not happy at all. For each area of life mark between 10 (perfect) & 1 (needs attention), or where ever in between, until you have completed the circle.

Once you have done that, connect the dots, between each area, giving you your wheel of life.

Now that you have completed your wheel, it should be obvious, which area you should focus on, the area with the lowest score (closest to the centre). This is the area of your life, you should be using this program to focus on

Quick Start Topic #2: Set Your Goals for this Program

You should now have the area of your life that you will be focusing on, if you don’t, go back and complete Quick Start Topic #1.

I want you to get the most out of this program, so starting it with the end in mind is important. Having goals set from the beginning, will help ensure your success.

It has been said that our mindset will influence the outcome of our endeavours, so if you start this program with ‘we will see’ expectations, you will get ‘we will see’ results.

So it is time for you to set your goal for this program, it should be a massive outcome, life changing outcome, something so big, that if you got it, it would make this the most valuable program you have ever completed.

So write out now, what you are going to get from completing this program, how is your life going to change for the better, what new skills you will have, what new position will you be in, what new opportunities will you have.

As you write out your goals for this program, consider checking the goal for the following:

  • Is your goal written in the positive
  • Have you focused on what you want, not on what you don’t want
  • Include, how you will know you have gotten what you want
  • What will you now have, as a result of getting your goal
  • Write it, as if it has already happened, as if you already have what you want
  • Include language that relates to you taking action, each day, to get what you want

Once your goal has been written, make sure it is some where you can read over it, if you are loosing motivation. Tell people about what you are doing, and what your goals are, so you become accountable to your word, and to them.

You might also choose to share your goal in the closed Facebook group, so you can get support along the way.

Once you have completed writing out your goals, start the next Quick Start Topic: Physiology and psychology of Success. This is your first ‘concept’ to wrap your mind around.

Quick Start Topic #3: Physiology and Psychology of Success

One of the quickest ways to experience success is to ‘act as if’ you have the success you desire, right now. This strategy is all about mindset, it is about your behaviour, it is about ‘pretending’ you have what you want, right now.

Starting with your physiology, right now, for today, and every day after, you need to stand, walk and carrier your self as if you are at #10 on the life wheel.

This means standing with confidence, walking with confidence, talking with confidence, pretending you are confident, pretending you have the job already, pretending you are the next in line for promotion, and that you deserve what it is you want.

This process can be a bit of a ‘leap of faith’ style for some, but the results will be measurable, and like affirmations, your physiology of success will start to shift you mindset, it will shift you into believing it is true.

The second part to this is your psychology, this means thinking about your goal, writing out the positive things you want, focusing on the belief that you can do this, you do deserve it, you are going to get it, you are on the way to success, that you are successful. You should be focusing on what you do want, not on what you don’t want, your self talk should be on positive things, not negative.

If need be, this is where you might like to write out the things you say to your self, reading through that self talk, and eliminating anything that is negative, and replacing it with positive self talk.

So your activity for today is to walk tall, speak with confidence, believe in your self, and act as if you have already got your goal.

Have fun, ask for help if you need it, but most of all play at 100%, then the only option will be success.

Quick Start Topic #4: Cause & Effect

The second ‘concept’ I would like to introduce you to the idea of cause and effect.

This is a simple equation, represented by, C>E.

As you travel along the personal development path, you may find your self researching or reading about successful people. One of the things I am sure you will discover is, the positive mind set of the successful, and you are also going to find out that they spend most of their time ‘at cause’ of their situation. They take responsibility for what happens in their life, weather it is true or not, as it gives them the choice to change it, if they created it.

All of us spend time on both sides of the equation, but the goal should be to spend as much time as possible on the cause side of the equation.


Have a read through the following statements, to get a good idea of what the difference is between cause and effect thinking:

  • My manager is the reason I don’t get a promotion
  • The global financial crisis is the reason I have not succeeded in business
  • I can’t be fit because of a sport injury from 10 years ago
  • I am the reason I got fired, I was lazy and unfocused
  • I did not get the job I applied for, I need to develop my skill set so I am more employable
  • I missed the game winning goal, I will train harder in the pre-season

Spend some time thinking about people you talk to in your spear of influence, think of the posts on Facebook, the comments people make at work. How many of them are at effect, or at cause?

People that are at effect are the people complaining about their situation, they will give you all the best reasons and excuses, why they cannot have what they want.

In contrast to a person that is at cause will take responsibility for everything that happens to them, they believe they create their situation, and they chose what has happened to them. 


So consider this, are you at effect? If so, ask your self, how did I choose this, how did I create this? Start the transition to cause of your situation, as once you truly do this, you will then have the option to un-choose it, to un-decide it.

Make a list now of all the things you have been at effect of, and what you are now going to do to take control of them, and be at cause of.

Quick Start Topic #5: Perception is Projection

This is the second last quick start topic, and it is another concept you can use to identify your weaknesses and strengths.

There is a very quick way to discover your strengths and weaknesses; however it will require another leap of fait, some behavioural flexibility, and an open mind.

Take out your pen and paper, and get ready to write out two lists. List one will be a list of characteristics, behaviours, and ideas that people you know have, that you disagree with. Things in people you know that you don’t like, things that people do that bug you, all the things they do, that you think are wrong.

Once you have completed this list, do the some for people you do like. Write out the best traits of your closest friends, your best manager, and the greatest people you know.

What you will be left with is two very different lists, lots bad, and I am guessing, a few less good things.

The concept of perception is projections, is that we project our ideas, beliefs, and behaviours onto others. We ‘project’ what we like and dislike about ourselves onto others.

Now if you completed the quick start topic of C>E, I hope you can continue being at cause for this next question.

Pretend perception is projection is true, look over your two lists as if it is about you, and what you now have are all your strengths and weakness. What you can choose to do with this list is to continue to build on your strengths, and work on any weaknesses you really want to improve.

Personally, I don’t always like the results of this activity, as it can be very confronting, hard to believe, and total bullshit, because ‘I am not like that’ thinking comes up.

If you do take a moment to think back on your life, I am sure you will be able to find you have done the things you like and dislike, to varying levels.

Quick Start Topic #6: Communication Behaviour Model

This is the final concept I will ask you to consider, it is the communication and behaviour model, taught in NLP. It is designed to show you how communication is occurring, what is happening when you are talking to people, and when you are listening to people.

When we are having a conversation, or some other event out side of us happens, we create an internal representation of what we have seen or heard.

Our perspective of what happened is processed through our internal filters, which will create an emotional state; this emotional state will affect our physiology and behaviour.

I want you to realise that we are in control of how we process this information coming in; we are capable of changing our states.

We take information in, in the form of sounds, pictures, self talk and feelings, our 5 senses are process everything that we experience in the following way:

Auditory – voices or sounds – externally or heard internally (self talk)
Gustatory – flavours and tastes
Kinaesthetic – touch, sensation and emotions
Olfactory – scents and smells
Visual – vision and envision – what we see externally and what we picture in our minds

Along with our senses, we also process information with our internal filters. These are comprised of language, values, beliefs, decisions, and memories.

Language – words we hear are processed into pictures
Values and beliefs – how we judge actions as right or wrong and what we decide is true
Decisions – what we choose to believe and choices we have made
Memories – experiences we have had from the past

Based of all of these things, our minds will delete, distort, and generalise what we see and hear, moulding it to what we think we have seen or heard. This is why several people can witness one event, yet each person can have a different account of what actually happened.

Delete – the reason we delete information that comes in is, if we had to recall every detail of everything we ever saw, heard, tasted, touched and smelled we could go insane.  Our brain filters for what is important and deletes extraneous information.
Distort – we place meaning on things that happen around us, even if it is not related, to try and make sense of what is happening. For example, thinking someone is angry because they have crossed their arms, when in fact they are just cold.
Generalise – we assign past experienced outcomes to future experiences, which can work well when learning, it can also work against us as it can create assumptions and stereo-types.

What I want you to get out of this is, that communication is complex, people are complex, and if you feel like you have not been heard, or something is not going the way you expect, if you are not getting your message across, it is because we are complex. It is that simple! If you want to understand more about these complexities, what to look for, more about values, beliefs, and how to change them, get in touch with me, and I can introduce you to some of the other programs I run.

For now, know that people are different, if communication does not go your way that’s ok.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Meta Progams 

You might have figured this one out by now, there are about 20 odd posts on meta program. But in case it has been missed, here is the meta programs elicitation and fulfilment in full.


“Would it be ok if I asked you some questions in order to best serve you? Some of these questions may seem a little strange. When I’m asking these questions, I’m looking for how you think, rather than what you think; so if I hear what I’m listening for, I may cut you off and move on to the next question.”
“What is important to you in a car?”
“What are you looking for in a career?”
Towards motivated

Toward with a little away

Both toward and away equally

Away with a little toward

Away from motivated

“Why are you choosing to do what you’re doing in (this situation/career/relationship)?”



“How do you know when you’re doing/have done a good job? What or who lets you know?”


Internal with external check

External with internal check

“What do you need in order to make a decision about a proposal?”
“How often does a co-worker have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced?”




“How many options do you need to consider before you can make a choice?”
“How often does a co-worker have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced?”
Decide automatically

Consider several options a number of times

Need a period of time

Need to be consistently convinced over time

“Do you know what you need to do to improve your performance, or your co-workers work? Could you easily tell them what to do?”
Self only

Self and others

Others only

Self but not others

“When you come into a new situation, do you usually take action immediately, or conduct a detailed study of the consequences before acting?”




“Tell me about a specific incident at work in which you were the happiest.”
“Where do you perform the best-when you’re working solo, as a part of a team, or when you are leading a team?”
Independent player

Team player

Management player

“What do you enjoy the most about your job?”



“Tell me about your favourite restaurant. Why is it your favourite?”





“If we were going to do a project together, would you want to know all the details first or the big picture first? Would you really need to know the big picture? Or the details?” OR “What are your future goals?”


specific to abstract

abstract to specific

“What is the relationship between these three coins?”
“What is the relationship between what you’re doing now and what you were doing this time last year?”
“When you come into a new job or situation, do you usually notice the similarities or differences to another job or situation first?”
sameness only

sameness with exceptions

sameness with differences equally

differences with similarities

differences only

“Tell me about a work situation that gave you trouble. How did you respond to it?”



“Do you have a planner? Or do you prefer to live in the moment and take each day as it comes?”
In Time

Through Time

“What was the last thing you said to yourself before you got up this morning?”
“If you had to make a decision, would you prefer to think it through, or talk to others about it before making a decision?”


“If someone said I’m tired, would you find that interesting, or feel compelled to do something about it?”


“If you had to communicate a point to someone would you tell them directly or would you imply it so they draw their own conclusions?”


Observe whether, during the interview, the person focused on self, others or both equally.



“Once you have elicited someone’s Meta Programs conversationally, whether from a co-worker, partner or prospective employee, you can then fulfil them by communicating with them within their perspective, address a behaviour, or lead, manage and motivate them towards a grander vision. The following are examples of statements that would be particularly persuasive when spoken to someone operating with those particular Meta Programs.”
Toward “Here are our goals and objectives…”
Toward with some away “Here are our goals…here’s what we want to avoid…”
Both toward and away “Here are our goals…and just as importantly, what we want to avoid is…”
Away with toward “Here’s what we want to avoid…This will reduce our risk of potential problems and liabilities.”
Away from motivated “Here’s what we want to avoid…This will reduce our risk of potential problems and liabilities.”
Possibility “Consider the possibilities in this project…we really can do this.”
Necessity “Consider the obligations we have…we really have to do this.”
Both “As you consider the possibilities of this project, also consider the obligations we have…we need to…and we can.”
Internal “I can’t convince you of anything. Only you know for sure.”
External “Consider what others in this project think.”
Balanced “As you check in with yourself and consider what others think…”
Internal with external check “As you check inside you will know that the evidence confirms…”
“What do you need in order to make a decision about a proposal?”
“How often does a co-worker have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced?”




Automatically “There is no need for convincing. You know what’s right…”
Or “Here is the option that makes the most sense…”
Number of times “Here are a number of options…I’m sure you will find one of them right for you.”
Period of time (Call the person in a fraction of their convincer time period and suggest it’s been longer:
“I’ve been so busy since the last time we talked, it almost seems like (total period). Now it’s time to…”
Consistently “I know you will never be completely convinced, and that’s the reason why you’ll just have to experience this to really know it’s right for you…”
Self “You know that your efforts on this project are most important, and that’s why we need you input with the other team members…”
Self and Others “You know what you need to do and let the others know too…”
Self but not Others “Who are we to tell them what to do? But just as you know exactly what you have to do…”
Others only “You’ve had all the time to think it through so it’s time to act now…“
Active “Let’s go and do this project…there’s no need to wait.”
Reflective “As you consider this project, it’s all the time you need to start on it…”
Both “You’ve had all the time to think it through so it’s time to act now…”
Independent “You are already excellent at performing on your own…that’s why it’s important to focus on the teamwork and work together…”
Team Player “I know you want a team to support you and right now you need to…”
Management “I realise you’re a take charge kind of person and in this situation…”
People “Let me tell you about the people who will be working on this project…”
Things “Let me tell you exactly what kinds of things we’ll be dealing with.. and I want you to be hands on…”
Systems “Here is how the system works…”
People “Let me tell you who you’ll be working with on this project…”
Places “I’ll tell you exactly where we’ll be working on this…”
Things “Here’s what we’ll be working with here…”
Activities “Let me tell you how this will work and what you’ll be doing…”
Information “Here’s what you’ll need to know… and why…”
Specific “Here are the details I know you want…”
Abstract “Let me give you the big picture…here’s the overall idea…”
Specific to Abstract “Here are some details…you can get the idea from here…”
Abstract to specific “Here’s the whole idea…and here’s how we’re going to do it…”
Sameness only “It’s the same thing as…same as you’ve been doing…”
Sameness with exceptions “As you consider what I’ve said you’ll realize it’s the same as…then see what’s different is…and that’s why you’ll want to…”
Differences with similarities “I don’t know if you’ll believe this or not…”
Differences only “You probably won’t believe this…it’s so different from anything we’ve done…”
Thinking “As you consider the situation, you’ll realise how you need to feel…”
Feeling “I know this situation upsets you and you feel strongly about…but…”
Choice “You can decide how you want to respond to…”
In Time “Since we are apt to loose track of time here…let’s stick to the schedule here keeping our options open and moving forward as planned…”
Through Time “As you are aware, time is of the essence…let’s take this step by step and keep on track…”
“If you had to make a decision, would you prefer to think it through, or talk to others about it before making a decision?”


“If someone said I’m tired, would you find that interesting, or feel compelled to do something about it?”


“If you had to communicate a point to someone would you tell them directly or would you imply it so they draw their own conclusions?”


Self “This concerns you in many ways…and we need to think outside the box to see what’s good for everyone involved…”

Others “Since I know you’re concerned for everyone’s well-being…”

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

What to Consider when you Decide you want to be Hypnotised

If you decide you want to be hypnotised you should make sure you can agree to the following, they are the key criteria that should exist between you and your hypnotist.

1. You must consent / agree to be hypnotised.

2. There must be good communication between you and your hypnotist.

3. Make sure you are in a safe and secure environment.

4. There must be trust between you and your hypnotist.

You should always expect your hypnotist to use positive language in order to properly order and sequence your internal representations you create, in the hypnotic state.

Your hypnotist may use metaphors which are single level or multiple levels (like inception) deep. For example you might be asked to….. 

Imagine walking into the control room of a building (which could represents the body). This type of representation can be quite useful for creating a space to manipulate ‘the controls’ of your mind (just like in ‘inside out’), especially useful in weight loss, self-esteem issues and other issues. Using the control room to ‘reset the system’.

This does not have to be a control room, it could be a beautiful mansion you have seen on grand designs, or a castle you have seen on escape to the country. 

It was once suggested to me that using a old castle can be useful in smoking cessation, they hypnotist will start the induction, have the soon to be ex-smoker go through a couple of steps. One of which is to clean the castle.

Of course there is a bit more to it, but I think you get the gist.

Another method your hypnotist can use is direct suggestion which generally starts with the question ‘what do you need to know or do in order to achieve your outcome’, then she will tell you to do it at the deepest point of your trance experience.

Most hypnotists also use the rule of 3, is the magic number for suggestions in a trance. Your hypnotist will want to offer your unconscious 3 major suggestions 3 times in 3 different ways, this improves the chance of the suggestion sticking and to set deeper in at the unconscious level (I am telling you, Inception is worth watching again). Keep in mind they will make sure to say the suggestion differently so as to make it less OBVIOUS to your conscious mind while in trance.

So an example of direct suggestion if you were seeing a hypnotist for your fear of cold-calling might be to offer you a suggestions such as…..

“You like to talk to others and they like to talk to you. You have a genuine feeling of joy when you think of connecting with those people you will help with your product or service. You confidently expect them to be waiting for your calls … you enjoy connecting with your prospects on the phone. Every day prior to making calls, you imagine people wanting to talk to you on the other end of the line. You wake up

in the morning excited to make new contacts, because you are imagining them anxious to speak with you. You know that there are many people out there enthusiastically waiting for your calls and you are looking forward to contacting them … “

Another approach your hypnotist might take is to install strategies with your own triggers. This can be done with associated state rehearsal or dissociated state rehearsal. Remember once again that the number 3 is the magic number in terms of really sinking a new strategy in at the unconscious level.

A example of installing strategies with your own triggers for improving performance in a sports player might be…..

“Imagine yourself walking on to the court (trigger) and the moment your feet hit the sand, you stop take a deep breath and feel a strong sense of calmness and purpose surge through your body You feel this feeling of calmness and purpose in every cell of your being as soon as you step onto the sand.

The moment you step onto the sand you will feel a calm sense of calmness and purpose realising now that you are focused only on the game. “OR” Imagine yourself now … standing behind the line, ready to serve the ball. And you stop … bounce it once (trigger) and immediately go into an extremely focused state. You picture the ball hitting with speed and accuracy exactly where you want it to hit. You serve the ball and it speeds to the exact location you imagined.”

End Result Imagery can be extremely effective as a motivator for change, to re-work the neurology and to set a new direction. Often a hypnotist will come up with your end result imagery when they do the initial detailed personal history with you (when designing your intervention).

example question you might be asked is “How will your life improve when you get your outcome?”.

Your hypnotist wants to help you paint a very clear picture of what you want your life will look like once they’ve made the change. You want to make sure your exact words are written down so that they can be used in an induction. The more details you write down, the more you will be able to weave wondrous end-result imagery while you are in trance. Make sure you write down specific behavioural things you will be doing, once they’ve attained your goals. Then in trance you can imagine these end-result imagery fully associated during the trance work, which is very compelling!

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Self Analysis 

Understanding the person you have become is a very effective way of understanding where you are headed.

The internet is filled with amazing, effective and accurate self analysis tools worth playing with to find out more about your self.

Some of the free ones I have found are:

    Jung Typology Test™

    Finding Your Purpose

You can also sign up for a whole collection of surveys at Authentic Happiness

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

PPS. As I find more I will add them here and at PDBOK

PPPS. If you have activities you have done that you think should be up on this website let me know

Finding your values

In #NLP there is one of the best activities I have found for eliciting your values around any area of life. 

Personally I have done this multiple times around relationships and for work…. And as I write this, I can feel I am due to revisit my values for health and fitness (feel, as in, my gut is on my belt right now).

If you want to find out your values for work, fitness, relationships or any other are of life, try the following script and do some writing.

NLP Values Elicitation Script
Write down Your answers to: 

“What’s important to me in the context of___________?”
Remember what motivates you: 

“Remember a specific incident when you were totally motivated in the context of______ ? Go back to that time in your mind, step into your body, see what you saw at the time, hear what you heard and feel the feelings of being totally motivated (in what ever context you chose). Then, rewind what you saw like a movie just a bit and take notice of the feeling or emotion that was present just prior to the feeling of being totally motivated?”

“So is ____________________________ important to you in the context of ___________?” (if yes add to values, No repeat 2-3 times)

What will break your values: 

“Look at the Liston have written, and if all these values were present, is there anything that would have to happen that  would cause you to leave? Or stop?”

“So is ____________________________ important to you in the context of ___________?” (May be a Not statement)

“Now if all these values were present and _______ occurred, is there anything else that would have to happen that would cause you to stay (or continue)?” (repeat 2-3 times)

Numbering your values: 

“Number the values according to their true value to you ? Not how you wish they were, but how they really have been up until now. So in light of the results you’re getting in your life right now what’s the most important? Which is next?”

Define your direction of focus: 

“Why is X value important to you? Why else? Why else?”

Next step:

“Go inside and pay attention to the pictures, sound, feelings, tastes, smells and self-talk when you think why that value of __________ is important to you in the context of _______ and ask your self, what percentage of your motivation/focus is towards what you want, and what percentage is away from what you don’t want?”

Towards and Away Conflicts: “Are there any of these values which are in conflict with one another?”

If you have gotten to this point, you have created a list of your values, ranked them and should have a good idea if they are being met, or broken. 

The next question is, does something need to change?

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Seth is one of my favourite producers of amazing content on the net.
He is so good that he lets anyone share some of his books for free, so check out ‘Brainwashed’ via this link ( A perfect eBook for someone that is looking to reinvent them selves.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Eliciting Strategies

In #NLP there are a tonn of fun questions that you can ask a person to help them think in new ways. NLP, as you know, uses lots of hypnotic language patterns, or “funny ways of saying things” to help you understand your self. 

The follow questions are used to elicits a persons strategies, basically around anything. 

So have a read and see if you can figure out one of your strategies.

Questions to Elicit Strategies (T.O.T.E)


What let you know it was time to decide?

When did you begin deciding?

How did you know it was time to decide?


How did you know there were alternatives?

How do you generate alternatives?


How do you evaluate alternatives?

What has to be satisfied in order for you to decide?


How do you select which alternative to take?

How do you know (or what lets you know) that you have decided?

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause you the most positive change in your life?

Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language
I was lucky enough to see Alan Pease speak live at a work event.
It is interesting listening to someone that inspires you, and then to be included in his presentation.

I have to admit, I was a bit like a fan girl meeting Justin Beiber.

None the less I got so much out of that one hour, I had to re-read his book the definitive book of body language, because it really is that.

If you have no idea what to look for, when it comes to analysing body language, you should read this book. What I loved about it is the clear explanations, the images that went with it and the content it self was often backed up by the history behind the observation you are being introduced to.

Read this book if you are:

  •    In sales
  •    Work in a office
  •    Want to read people

Want to understand what is happening in social situations

Interact with people on a regular basis This book will always be in my top ten, it was the first book I read on body language and I hope you take the time to make it apart of yours as well.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life.

Telling Lies

If you are interested in #communication, reading people, #rapport, and anything that relates to understanding others, then the book ‘Telling Lies‘ is for you.

The TV show ‘Lie to Me’ was based off the work of Dr Paul Ekman, Paul is a psychologist that has dedicated his life to understanding micro expressions.
His research uncovered that there are universal facial expressions, regardless of skin colour. This also extends into micro expressions, these are small changes that happen in a persons face. Now with research, reading, training and practice you can start to see these changes.

If you want to be able to read others, micro expression training is a must.

Start with Paul’s book and you will be on the way to understanding it.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life.

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