What to Consider when you Decide you want to be Hypnotised

If you decide you want to be hypnotised you should make sure you can agree to the following, they are the key criteria that should exist between you and your hypnotist.

1. You must consent / agree to be hypnotised.

2. There must be good communication between you and your hypnotist.

3. Make sure you are in a safe and secure environment.

4. There must be trust between you and your hypnotist.

You should always expect your hypnotist to use positive language in order to properly order and sequence your internal representations you create, in the hypnotic state.

Your hypnotist may use metaphors which are single level or multiple levels (like inception) deep. For example you might be asked to….. 

Imagine walking into the control room of a building (which could represents the body). This type of representation can be quite useful for creating a space to manipulate ‘the controls’ of your mind (just like in ‘inside out’), especially useful in weight loss, self-esteem issues and other issues. Using the control room to ‘reset the system’.

This does not have to be a control room, it could be a beautiful mansion you have seen on grand designs, or a castle you have seen on escape to the country. 

It was once suggested to me that using a old castle can be useful in smoking cessation, they hypnotist will start the induction, have the soon to be ex-smoker go through a couple of steps. One of which is to clean the castle.

Of course there is a bit more to it, but I think you get the gist.

Another method your hypnotist can use is direct suggestion which generally starts with the question ‘what do you need to know or do in order to achieve your outcome’, then she will tell you to do it at the deepest point of your trance experience.

Most hypnotists also use the rule of 3, is the magic number for suggestions in a trance. Your hypnotist will want to offer your unconscious 3 major suggestions 3 times in 3 different ways, this improves the chance of the suggestion sticking and to set deeper in at the unconscious level (I am telling you, Inception is worth watching again). Keep in mind they will make sure to say the suggestion differently so as to make it less OBVIOUS to your conscious mind while in trance.

So an example of direct suggestion if you were seeing a hypnotist for your fear of cold-calling might be to offer you a suggestions such as…..

“You like to talk to others and they like to talk to you. You have a genuine feeling of joy when you think of connecting with those people you will help with your product or service. You confidently expect them to be waiting for your calls … you enjoy connecting with your prospects on the phone. Every day prior to making calls, you imagine people wanting to talk to you on the other end of the line. You wake up

in the morning excited to make new contacts, because you are imagining them anxious to speak with you. You know that there are many people out there enthusiastically waiting for your calls and you are looking forward to contacting them … “

Another approach your hypnotist might take is to install strategies with your own triggers. This can be done with associated state rehearsal or dissociated state rehearsal. Remember once again that the number 3 is the magic number in terms of really sinking a new strategy in at the unconscious level.

A example of installing strategies with your own triggers for improving performance in a sports player might be…..

“Imagine yourself walking on to the court (trigger) and the moment your feet hit the sand, you stop take a deep breath and feel a strong sense of calmness and purpose surge through your body You feel this feeling of calmness and purpose in every cell of your being as soon as you step onto the sand.

The moment you step onto the sand you will feel a calm sense of calmness and purpose realising now that you are focused only on the game. “OR” Imagine yourself now … standing behind the line, ready to serve the ball. And you stop … bounce it once (trigger) and immediately go into an extremely focused state. You picture the ball hitting with speed and accuracy exactly where you want it to hit. You serve the ball and it speeds to the exact location you imagined.”

End Result Imagery can be extremely effective as a motivator for change, to re-work the neurology and to set a new direction. Often a hypnotist will come up with your end result imagery when they do the initial detailed personal history with you (when designing your intervention).

example question you might be asked is “How will your life improve when you get your outcome?”.

Your hypnotist wants to help you paint a very clear picture of what you want your life will look like once they’ve made the change. You want to make sure your exact words are written down so that they can be used in an induction. The more details you write down, the more you will be able to weave wondrous end-result imagery while you are in trance. Make sure you write down specific behavioural things you will be doing, once they’ve attained your goals. Then in trance you can imagine these end-result imagery fully associated during the trance work, which is very compelling!

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Self Analysis 

Understanding the person you have become is a very effective way of understanding where you are headed.

The internet is filled with amazing, effective and accurate self analysis tools worth playing with to find out more about your self.

Some of the free ones I have found are:

    Jung Typology Test™

    Finding Your Purpose

You can also sign up for a whole collection of surveys at Authentic Happiness

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

PPS. As I find more I will add them here and at PDBOK

PPPS. If you have activities you have done that you think should be up on this website let me know

Finding your values

In #NLP there is one of the best activities I have found for eliciting your values around any area of life. 

Personally I have done this multiple times around relationships and for work…. And as I write this, I can feel I am due to revisit my values for health and fitness (feel, as in, my gut is on my belt right now).

If you want to find out your values for work, fitness, relationships or any other are of life, try the following script and do some writing.

NLP Values Elicitation Script
Write down Your answers to: 

“What’s important to me in the context of___________?”
Remember what motivates you: 

“Remember a specific incident when you were totally motivated in the context of______ ? Go back to that time in your mind, step into your body, see what you saw at the time, hear what you heard and feel the feelings of being totally motivated (in what ever context you chose). Then, rewind what you saw like a movie just a bit and take notice of the feeling or emotion that was present just prior to the feeling of being totally motivated?”

“So is ____________________________ important to you in the context of ___________?” (if yes add to values, No repeat 2-3 times)

What will break your values: 

“Look at the Liston have written, and if all these values were present, is there anything that would have to happen that  would cause you to leave? Or stop?”

“So is ____________________________ important to you in the context of ___________?” (May be a Not statement)

“Now if all these values were present and _______ occurred, is there anything else that would have to happen that would cause you to stay (or continue)?” (repeat 2-3 times)

Numbering your values: 

“Number the values according to their true value to you ? Not how you wish they were, but how they really have been up until now. So in light of the results you’re getting in your life right now what’s the most important? Which is next?”

Define your direction of focus: 

“Why is X value important to you? Why else? Why else?”

Next step:

“Go inside and pay attention to the pictures, sound, feelings, tastes, smells and self-talk when you think why that value of __________ is important to you in the context of _______ and ask your self, what percentage of your motivation/focus is towards what you want, and what percentage is away from what you don’t want?”

Towards and Away Conflicts: “Are there any of these values which are in conflict with one another?”

If you have gotten to this point, you have created a list of your values, ranked them and should have a good idea if they are being met, or broken. 

The next question is, does something need to change?

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Seth is one of my favourite producers of amazing content on the net.
He is so good that he lets anyone share some of his books for free, so check out ‘Brainwashed’ via this link (http://sethgodin.com/sg/docs/brainwash.pdf). A perfect eBook for someone that is looking to reinvent them selves.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Eliciting Strategies

In #NLP there are a tonn of fun questions that you can ask a person to help them think in new ways. NLP, as you know, uses lots of hypnotic language patterns, or “funny ways of saying things” to help you understand your self. 

The follow questions are used to elicits a persons strategies, basically around anything. 

So have a read and see if you can figure out one of your strategies.

Questions to Elicit Strategies (T.O.T.E)


What let you know it was time to decide?

When did you begin deciding?

How did you know it was time to decide?


How did you know there were alternatives?

How do you generate alternatives?


How do you evaluate alternatives?

What has to be satisfied in order for you to decide?


How do you select which alternative to take?

How do you know (or what lets you know) that you have decided?

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause you the most positive change in your life?

Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language
I was lucky enough to see Alan Pease speak live at a work event.
It is interesting listening to someone that inspires you, and then to be included in his presentation.

I have to admit, I was a bit like a fan girl meeting Justin Beiber.

None the less I got so much out of that one hour, I had to re-read his book the definitive book of body language, because it really is that.

If you have no idea what to look for, when it comes to analysing body language, you should read this book. What I loved about it is the clear explanations, the images that went with it and the content it self was often backed up by the history behind the observation you are being introduced to.

Read this book if you are:

  •    In sales
  •    Work in a office
  •    Want to read people

Want to understand what is happening in social situations

Interact with people on a regular basis This book will always be in my top ten, it was the first book I read on body language and I hope you take the time to make it apart of yours as well.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life.

Telling Lies

If you are interested in #communication, reading people, #rapport, and anything that relates to understanding others, then the book ‘Telling Lies‘ is for you.

The TV show ‘Lie to Me’ was based off the work of Dr Paul Ekman, Paul is a psychologist that has dedicated his life to understanding micro expressions.
His research uncovered that there are universal facial expressions, regardless of skin colour. This also extends into micro expressions, these are small changes that happen in a persons face. Now with research, reading, training and practice you can start to see these changes.

If you want to be able to read others, micro expression training is a must.

Start with Paul’s book and you will be on the way to understanding it.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life.

What is hypnotic change work? Heck, what is trance?

Change Work Overview & Suggestibility Test

The outcome of hypnosis is to gain confidence in your ability to enter into trance, create a strong relationship with you unconscious mind and to create long lasting personal change through hypnosis.

Hypnosis is defined as leading people with suggestive language into a receptive state where they themselves can access and utilise the power of their unconscious mind to direct behaviours and outcomes. 

Understanding Trance

First things first, don’t expect to feel hypnotized, as you are just following suggestions that you choose to listen to or not.

Many people expect to feel hypnotized but the trance state may not feel markedly different from the waking state. Sometimes people get false expectations or ideas because they’ve seen stage shows that make it look like something that its not.

What makes it possible for you to have success with hypnosis is directly linked to the hypnotist, and your level of trust for that person.

Do expect to feel relaxedMost people will describe the trance state as being a relaxed state ranging somewhere between relaxation and deep relaxation. It depends on the individual, and remember. You will be in total control the entire time.

It is like the ultimate state of self-control, the hypnotist is just the tour guide. They cannot control people minds, but I can teach you how to control your own.  And know that all trance is about learning how to go into trance, anybody can attain the deepest depths of trance once you learn how.

Stages of Hypnosis

Light Trance : Lethargy –  relaxation – eye, arm, isolated muscle group catalepsy – heavy or floating feeling

Medium Trance: Rapport – smell and taste changes – number block – partial amnesia / glove anesthesia – amnesia – analgesia (no pain) – automatic movements – partial hallucinations

Deep Trance: Hallucinations (positive and negative) – bizarre Post-Hypnotic suggestions – anesthesia (no feelings) – comatose – deep trance identification

Suggestibility Test

A hypnotist will often do a suggestibility test with you, they would say something like this…

“Now we are going to do some suggestibility tests to determine your level of suggestibility. There is no pass/fail. Everybody does wonderfully. I’m sure, you’ll do fine.”

Postural Sway

The postural sway is something you can do to your self to get a feel for what it can be like, if you are doing it with a hypnotist, they might say….

“Here (showing you) stand up nice and tall, turn your head so that you’re looking all the way up at the ceiling and close your eyes. Now feel your body beginning to sway, back and fort, back and forth. Excellent you’re an excellent subject!”

Book & Balloon

The book and ballon is a fun exercise to do on your own, as it is a great example of expanding your imagination. IF you can make this work, you must be great at using your imagination. If you do this with a hypnotist, they might say….

“Now I want you place your hands out in front of you like you’re sleep walking. Close your eyes. Turn one hand over so that it’s palm up. Now in that hand, I’d like you to imagine a heavy, heavy dictionary…weighing that hand down. And imagine it getting heavier and heavier, heavier and heavier… And at the same time I want you to imagine a helium balloon tied around the wrist of your other hand, lifting that hand higher and higher, higher and higher… While the other hand gets heavier and heavier.” And they would ask you to notice the change.

Finger Vice

Apart from being a good party trick, the finger vice is another good suggestibility test. The hypnotist will say….

“Okay, now I want you to clasp your hands nice and tight together. Place your fore fingers out so that they are touching. Now in a moment, not yet, but in a moment, I’m going to have you open your fingers like this (DEMO) and then I want you to watch the space between your fingers and imagine that I put a vice clamp on them and watch as they magically draw together. Okay open them now (make clamp motion).”

Master Pre-framing

Clench Fist / Relax Fist

If you have run through the above tests and found you have a masterful imagination you could try the following pre-frames to see how you go. They hypnotist might ask….

“Did you know that if you really wanted to, your could clench your fist so tightly and so powerfully that you couldn’t possibly make it any tighter or more powerful, true? So … If you really wanted to, and you knew how, you could relax the fist and hand to the point where it was so relaxed that, unless you removed that relaxation, the fist and hand would be so relaxed that it wouldn’t work. That is also true, isn’t it?”

Eyes are Easiest to Relax

Don’t try doing this one while you read this, hahahahaha, hypnosis pun! If you do this one with a hypnotise, they would say….

“The eyelids are the easiest group of muscles to relax. Now, you know that’s true, don’t you? Have you ever had a long, hard day, and as the day grew later, your eyes just wanted so badly to close and just relax?”

Teach What to Do

Some times a hypnotist will teach you have to go into trance like this…..

“Now, watch my eyes. I’m going to close them, and relax them so deeply and completely that they couldn’t possibly open, now, if i decide to take that relaxation away, I could open them instantly, but if I hold on to the relaxation, my eyes will be so relaxed that they wouldn’t work no matter who hard I tried to open them. So now I am going to try to open them. (open them. “oops”)

Hypnosis pre-framing and pre-teaching is key to its success, it is why stage hypnotists have so much success. Most of us have seen it happen and are already pre-framed on how to go into trance. The trick is to use this skill to help improve your self, help you be better.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

How to build phone Rapport

So I told a lie, I said that ‘Communicating Like A Boss’ was my first book…..

Well, I was just looking through my old archives and found a book on ‘Phone Rapport’ that I wrote in 2011. Below is the first 70% or so of the book, I hope you like it.

And if you want the full PDF, shoot me an email and Ill send it to you ASAP.



Why is Phone Rapport Important?

At around the age of 11 I started Rob’s Odd Jobs. This little business venture was to take my suburb by storm. I offered lawn mowing and car washing, two jobs that any young child can do. The plan was every one in my street would call me through the week to book a time on the weekend for me to come and mow their lawn and wash their car. I knew as a kid that this would be an easy business that I could just start and every thing would simply work and I would make money. The first thing I did was put a simple flyer in every mail box in my street. From there I knew it was time to start calling around to every one in the suburb as well. Now I don’t remember every having a fear of “cold calling” as a child but I do know that it is one of the biggest issues with small and medium business today. As a young boy this simply didn’t exist. I just picked up the phone and started communicating what I was passionate about to people. This simple act of calling people and communicating worked a charm. I found that while I was interested I had lawns to mow and cars to wash. And as it has turned out, this was my first introduction to creating phone rapport, though I had no idea at the time.

Fast forward to now, many jobs, many businesses and many phone calls later I have found that, when talking on the phone, it can often be one sided for most people. When they make a phone call the person on the other end of the line misses the message.

I think of every person that has had to call a help desk to get support on a issue, weather telecommunications or IT support. I think almost all of us can recall a time where we wanted to hang up (or actually hung up) or even tell them to get stuffed.

There is so often a breakdown of communication when it comes to talking on the phone and it is the intention of this book to teach you the skills and tools you need to have the best possible chance of your message been heard over the phone. I believe it is my responsibility to help everyone that has to do business over the phone have the best change of getting their message across. It is my job to teach you how to build phone rapport.

Rapport = Connection.

This book will teach you how to create a deeper level of connection with people you are talking to on the phone.

I will teach you the specific skills of phone Rapport as well as look at other techniques and strategies to get the most out of every phone conversation you have, weather it be with a colleague, client, partner or friend.

Chapter 1

What is phone Rapport?

Phone Rapport could be defined as a a moment of connection, a physical, emotional or mental state of trust between you and another person. Rapport is where you truly hear the other person; they are responsive to you and can hear what you are saying.

Why Are We On The Phone?

I think smart phones are one of the biggest reasons we are on the phone these days, but this is not the type of communicating I am talking about. Not Facebook, not twitter etc. I am talking about, why are we talking on the phone? We are on the phone talking to our family, our friends or something to do with work. Why are you making phone calls? Who do you normally call (work or play)? In the context of work, these are some of the key reasons we are on the phone:

– Sales calls

– Cold calling

– Booking appointments

– Working with clients

– Helping people

– Delivering training

– Working on a help desk

– Ordering supplies

– Booking accommodation

– Paying bills

– Talking to a colleague

– Talking to a partner

So we have lots of reasons to be on the phone, and many more than could be listed here. The trick is to improve your ability to connect with the other person on the end of the line.

What Specifically Is Phone Rapport?

Phone rapport is made up of the way you talk on the phone, it is the words you are using and the way you use them. Phone Rapport includes the inflection in your voice, the speed you speak at and the message it self, that you are trying to communicate.

The way you communicate over the phone will include visual, auditory and kinaesthetic words and phrases as well as your own key words that you use.

Phone rapport is the process of actively listening to the person on the other end of the line, hearing their words and phrases as well as the specific sentences they say to you.

Phone rapport is about noticing those things, as well as matching the types of key words and phrases the other person uses, by speaking the same as the other person (same speed, pace and pitch). All things that you will learn about over the next few chapters.

Chapter 2

Representational Systems

We all communicate using different representational systems, using our five senses (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching) plus self talk (internal dialog) to view the world and things happening in it. Using these senses we make ‘sense’ of what happens around us, what we say to others and what others say to us.

Simplified, we use the following senses to listen and to communicate:



Auditory Digital


Thought we use some or all of these systems all of us have a primary one that we use. The one system we favour, and as you go through this book it becomes your responsibility to start to notice which system you use the most and the systems other people use.

Preferred Representational Systems

Visual (V)

People who are primarily visual (V) tend to speak faster over the phone, they will stand or sit with there bodies erect and eyes up. The appearance of things can be important to them and they tend to be organized. They learn by associating images with their conversations. If communication is only verbal they are more challenged to recall the information, so they will wan to get a clear picture in their mind as to what you are talking about, they like to have pictures and diagrams to go with there conversations. They aren’t easily distracted by noise and they usually have to see something for it to capture their attention or interest. Once key trick when talking with a visual communicator over the phone is to email them information that relates to your conversation, so they can see what you are talking about.

Auditory (A)

People, who are primarily auditory breath from the middle of their chests, move their eyes from side to side, often talk to themselves and are easily distracted by noise. They learn and memorize by hearing information sequentially, they like to be told how they’re doing on a job and feel liked by hearing a certain tone of voice or words. They respond to sounds and consequently like music, talking on the phone and listening to the radio. If you are on the phone to a auditory person you will be in luck, all it may take is the phone conversation to meet them where they are at, so long as what you have to say ‘sounds right’ to them.

Auditory Digital (Ad)

People who are primarily auditory digital are often listening to inner dialogue in their heads, they make decisions using a list of criteria and they can use any or all of the other representational systems but are interested in something when it makes sense to them. A AD person is the one that is going to ask you hundreds of questions, they will want all the details and if you miss one small thing they will pick up on it. You might find they spend a lot of time listening to your pitch with little to no feedback, it does not mean they are not listening to you, it means they are measuring what you are saying against what they thing is important.

Kinaesthetic (K)

People who are primarily kinaesthetic generally breathe from the bottom of their lungs, so their stomach visibly moves up and down, they may move and speak slowly and respond to touch and physical rewards, they learn and memorize by doing. Something has to feel right for them to be interested. These are the people you cut off and try and finish their sentences for them. This is going to break rapport with them very quick, when connecting with a kinaesthetic person you need to take a moment to slow down, listen and let them finish their sentence. When talking with a K person you want to get them to a point of imagining acting out what you are talking about, if they can be enabled to ‘feel’ what you are talking about, you will have a better chance of connecting with them.

Worth an honourable mention are tastes and smells, never really noted as primary representational systems, as they only process very specific information. Still can be relevant with our ever growing food and wine culture, and in the right context will be key to building a connection with some one, especially if you are talking about a new release of wine to your prospect customers. Neither olfactory nor gustatory will be referenced pass this section of your phone rapport book.

Olfactory (O)

The olfactory system is the sensory system used for olfaction, or the sense of smell. Though not related to eye accessing cues, is apart of peoples communication, in certain contexts. You will find over time there is a percentage of people that will communicate using words that relate to smell. The use of olfactory language and references can easily be noticed by the comments people make when they smell a perfume that reminds them of something or some one. You will also find there are industries that people work in the mean their olfactory language is far more developed than others, people that work in the food industry or are fragrance testers.

Gustatory (G)

The gustatory system is the sensory system for the sense of taste. Like the olfactory system there is no eye accessing cue for the system. How ever you will see it present in the language of people that deal with taste in their every day lives, most often people that deal with food, they not only find it important to create beautiful ‘visual’ dishes, they are wedded to the taste of the food. Similar to the olfactory system it is not very prevalent in communication.

Preferred Representational System Test

As you know we tend to favour one representational system over another. This activity will give you and indication as to which system you favour, focusing on visual, auditory, auditory digital and kinaesthetic as these are the primary systems people will use. As this is a e-Book you might need to do some writing out to see your result of this test, or you can go to www.robertway.com.au/2015/11/06/preferred-representational-system-questions/ to complete a similar activity there.

Write a number next to every statement for each question. Using 1-4 for each.

4 = Almost always; 3 = Often; 2 = Sometimes; 1 = Almost never

Question 1

I make a choice when:

___ It feels right to me

___ I hear it, and it sounds right to me

___ I see it, and it looks great

___ I review it, and it fits my criteria

Question 2

When discussing and issue, I am persuaded by:

___ How convincing the other person sounds

___ Really seeing the other persons point of view

___ How reasonable the individual makes the point

___ My own gut feeling

Question 3

When I meet someone for the first time, I am impressed by:

___ The appearance of the person

___ How he or she makes me feel

___ How articulate or intelligent the individual is

___ If what the person says rings true to me

Question 4

I generally respond to:

___ Sounds, and I am easily distracted by noise

___ Interesting facts, and I am easily distracted by my own thoughts

___ Sensations, and I am easily distracted by the way my body feels

___ Colours, and I am easily distracted by sights around me

Question 5

When I like a proposal, I tend to say things like:

___ “Sounds good”

___ “Makes sense”

___ “Got it”

___ “Looks good”

From here write out the number values from the previous page in the same sequence you wrote them.

1. __K 2. __A 3. __V 4. __A 5. ­­__A

__A __V __K __Ad __Ad

__V __Ad __Ad __K __K

__Ad __K __A __V __V

Next, record each number in the corresponding box and then add each column.

Finally the scores in each column will give the relative preference for each of the four major representational systems. The highest total will be your favoured representational system. One should also know when ever doing a personality test or activity like this one that these results can vary depending on what you are doing at the time, the sort of work you are doing or activities you are undertaking. As you learn more about rapport and begin to hear more of what people say, and defiantly when you finish this book you should redo the activity to see if there are any changes.

Chapter 3

Words and Phrases

This section is a simple section, but a very important one. The words and phrases people use in conversation are going to give you a clear idea of the representational system a person preferrers. We will focus directly on the types of words or phrases you might hear from each representational system. It is your job to start listening our for the use of each type of word and to start building a picture of what it is like to listen for these different words in conversations.

We use many different words and phrases in every day conversation, what we are focusing on are the key words that indicate a person’s primary representational system. Think of them as a road marker that shows us how the person we are talking to views the world. If you begin to hear these words you know you are starting to hear a person. Most people speak using their own words and wonder why some one doesn’t understand them. They might say have you not seen the mind map I put up, with the response been I never heard you talk about it. Or it could be “she never cuddles me, she doesn’t love me” with a response of “but I tell him all the time”.

One of the reasons there can be a breakdown in communication is miss matching of these words and phrases in conversation. As per my examples, a person might be using auditory words while another using visual words. Something so simple can be enough for the message to get lost. So the goal over the next few pages is to become aware of the words people are using and begin to use the words other people use in conversation. This is your first step to building rapport with someone over the phone, so check out the table below for examples of visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, auditory digital, olfactory and gustatory (even if only a short list for O and G) words people might use.



Chapter 4

Attention to Detail

Having attention to detail in every phone conversation is a key skill to mastering rapport. The goal of this chapter is to focus your ability to listen, to hear changes and to observe the subtle shifts that can occur in a phone conversation.

When I talk about attention to detail I am talking about your ability to detect minute changes in a person. Humans have millions of years of evolution behind their ability to notice small changes in people, indicating that something has changed. All for the purpose of survival, obviously most of us are not conscious of this process. It just seems to happen to us and we trust that gut instinct. What I want you to do is become consciously a wear of what is a unconscious process you already do.

Have you ever heard some one tell a story or give you information that you simply did not believe, or you may have a friend that you just know from the sound of their voice that they have fallen for another guy? Or maybe when you talk to your mum you know when you are in trouble for spending your money on that thing you just bought. Maybe it is the way your boss calls out your name that you know you are in for it.

It is thought our attention to detail that we know that this or that tone over the phone means something good or bad, if we have lost the sale or not. So the goal over the next few pages is to bring into our conscious awareness all these things you have never noticed you knew.

Personally I found it quite a exciting game to spend time listening to the subtle changes and exchanges that happen over the phone, it is a fun process to begin to truly hear what people have been saying and the different indicators that have been precent. It is also important in the early stages of learning attention to detail that you just observe what people are saying and the different inflections and indicators that pop up over the phone. The issue that often comes up for people when analysing others is, they start assigning meaning based off the smallest amount of information. It is important to go through the processes of gathering information about the person you are talking with. Begin this process of attention to detail by just noticing the changes that occur from moment to moment. Once you can begin to notice more and more changes in a person over the phone you will then be able to assign more and more meaning to what the changes mean. When we assign meaning too soon to peoples words they are often based on what we think the words mean to us and not what they mean to the other person. Your goal should be to get a strong foundation of attention to detail so that from moment to moment you can identify a change in some one and truly hear the words and language that they are using. From there then look at finding the meaning in the changes that happen in a person from moment to moment.

In the previous chapter we looked at key words and phrases people might use while talking, this a great place to begin practicing attention to detail. Start to listen for the types of words people are using over the phone. Begin by spending one day listening out for kinaesthetic words and then visual words and so on until you have the Attention to detail to hear the different words and phrases that people use.

The next thing to start listening for is the different inflections in the voice, do they use a commanding tonality, a questioning tonality or do they make a statement. To understand a persons tonality inflection more than this brief statement, check out a BLOG on just that topic (www.robertway.com.au/2015/11/16/how-you-say-it/). Next, begin to notice the different speeds that people talk at, noting that visual people will speak much faster than kinaesthetic people do. This means you should notice they types of words match the speed of talking.

Make it your job to hear these things over the phone. It is also important to pay attention to your own feelings that are occurring in the moment as what you are feeling and thinking will also give you an indication of what is going on in the exchange. If you can make note of positive vs. negative feelings and see how that relates to their primary system, vs. yours.

What am I listening for?

Still not 100% sure what you should be listening for? In the table below is a list of most of the different things you should start to notice over the phone.

Tonality inflection

The meaning of your communication will change depending on the tone you use when speaking. It will affect how the person hears you and what they think of what you have said. Tonality will go up, neutral or down.

The diagram below gives will give you and idea of what you are listening for in a person’s tonality.

Word = Question

Word →→→→ Word →→→→ Word

Word →→→→ Word →→→→ Word                     Word = Statement

Word →→→→ Word →→→→ Word                     

Word = Command

As well as listening out for the above things you can also carryout the different activities below to start to hone your ability to have attention to detail.

Recall a Conversation Activity

The reason for this activity is to notice how much information you have actually heard over the phone. It will develop your ability to pay more attention to what is happening on the phone. What you want to focus on is your ability to recall every thing that happened in a previous conversation.

To get the best possible results, find your self a quiet room, sit down with your eyes closed and complete the following process:

Remember the last phone conversation you had;

Start at the beginning of the conversation;

What was the first thing the person said?

Play the entire phone conversation over in your mind like a movie (going from scene to scene), where needed rewind and replay different parts of the conversation;

While going through this process notice the following;

Why had the client called?

Was there a problem?

Did you come up with a solution?

What key words did the person used?

What types of words did the person use?

Did you feel like there was a connection between you and the client?

Did you notice the different types of inflection in the person’s voice?

Review your results of the above thinking process and see if you can notice any other details from the conversation. Write down all the different things you noticed.

Once you have completed this activity make a point in subsequent conversations to notice more that is happening in a conversation, you should begin to hear more of what people are saying, aim to hear more and more of the words, phrases and key words people use. Remember the purpose of this activity is to start to hone your ability to have attention to detail. Mastering this skill will strengthen your ability to create rapport with a person over the phone. You might even like to review each conversation you have directly after you have finished it, giving you instant feedback on how it went.

Identifying VAKAd Language Activity

This activity will help you hone your ability to identify what representational system a person might be. You will be listening for and recording any visual (V), Auditory (A), Kinaesthetic (K) and Auditory Digital (Ad) language you hear a person use over the phone.

To complete this activity, have a note pad and pen next to the phone, and with your next phone call complete the following steps:

– Write down the person’s name

– Write down any key words the person uses. EG. Dude, cool, fun, great etc

– Write down any VAKAd language that the person uses

– Write down any other indicators you notice that are in the ‘what am I listening for’ table above.

The intention with this activity is to get you listening for the different indicators that are present in any one phone conversation; this will hone your ability to have solid attention to detail. Practice this process as many times as you like until you begin to hear more and more. You should get to a point where you start to hear the key words and phrases and not need to write them down.

Mapping a Phone Conversation Activity

This activity will teach you how to map out your entire phone conversation and give you a clear picture of what you client is looking for as well as give you their words that they have been using. This activity will require strong attention to detail, a fast writing hand and sharp ear. You will be listening to every thing that they will be saying……….


If you want to get the rest of the eBook, please let me know.

Rock and Roll


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Self Analysis

In order to make positive and sustainable changes in our lives we must first understand who we are right now. The following process is a simple one and all it requires is for you to write.

To start uncovering ‘you’, all you need to do is write about the area of your life you want to understand or improve. For example, if you desire to understand the  relationships in your life, you would write about relationships. If it is health write about health. Spend 10 minutes of focused writing morning and afternoon for 2 days about the topic you want to work on, or on any topic that comes to mind.

At the end, review what you have written, because the words you have captured contain your values, beliefs, and blockers that you can work on. 

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Communicating Like A Boss


I have done the research, I know much more now, and I am ready to give you my first free eBook.

‘Communicating Like A Boss’

Among other things I will teach you how to goal set, using one of the best tools I have ever found. If you take your time to download the book I will ask you these following questions and more. Think through these through and see what you come up with:

What specifically do you want? Where are you now, in relation to your goal. Clarify your goal using all your senses by asking your self; what will you see, hear, feel, (taste or smell) when you get what you want. Specify the evidence you will have when you know you have it by asking, how will you know when you have it, as in what evidence tells you, you got your goal.

You will go on to answer a whole lot more, to get true clarity on your goal In the end you want to be able to get a clear image in your mind of you getting what you want, and be able to succinctly sum up your goal in this format:

It is now ___________________________________ (Future Date)

I am/I have _________________________________ (End Step)

I will also share with you the 4 Matt communication model, which helps you deliver your message like a boss to a group of people you have never met. By teaching your the order and sequence to deliver your message, which starts with explaining why you are talking with the group, what you will cover in your presentation, how people will be able to act on what you are telling them, and what else they might need to know, including other ways to apply it.

I will also teach you about reading eye accessing cues and sensory awareness, which will mean you know how to read someones face. You will know when their thoughts or feelings are changing. Things like reading pupil dilation, skin tone, and even where a person looks to remember an image (top right) or where they look when accessing their feelings (down).

As well as these things, you will learn:

  • How to define your focus
  • The physiology and psychology of success
  • Understanding cause and effect and perception is projection
  • What the communication behaviour model is
  • Eliciting your values
  • Define your purpose, vision, mission, and legacy
  • How to create resource anchors
  • The VAK communication model
  • How to have tonality control when speaking
  • Learn how to build rapport with everyone you meet
  • Framing communication
  • Perceptual Positions
  • Shifting your mindset with expanded awareness
  • Build your own positive affirmations

Shoot me your email address and then click on the link below to get your free PDF!

Communicating Like A Boss download.

Thank you to everyone that downloaded the initial program, and thank you to everyone that gets this free copy, and goes after their dreams.

Rock and Roll


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

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