I hate you and this program!

I use to be a trainer for an IT program, not just any, but a really boring one. The sort of thing that people hated to use. 

On top of it being boring, people were forced to attend training, which had them even more excited to be there. 

This one time, a trainee rocked up, looked me right in the face and said “I fucking hate you and I hate this program“.

At this stage in my career I had completed my NLP presentation and platform skills training and I had become pretty good a crating rapport, even so, about a million thoughts went through my mind in that second. All I could muster was “welcome” with a smile of course. 

Over the course of the day it became clear this bloke had been forced to show up, had not been told why, in general had never really had success with computers and had only heard bad things about the software. By realizing these things, over about 6 hours I was able to explain the ‘why’, gave him some easy tips on how to be successful with a computer and demonstrated the benefits of the system. 

In life, people are going to show up in front of you that don’t know who you are and what you are about, they will have their preconceptions and beliefs that you cannot do anything about. What you can do is be open, honest, hear what’s happening for them and try your best to help. Building rapport can help too, but just doing those things will get you a long way…..

Unlike telling them ‘not to fuck with you’…. don’t do that one, it doesn’t work. 

Rock and Roll 


PS. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Are you, you?

I just got on a jet in Tasmania and saw a face that I had not seen in years. It belonged to a bloke I had worked with as a mentor. 

Now he was 100% sure that he was going to work in the medical industry….. but here he was, a hugely confident team leader on my flight. 

So I have to wonder, how many people state what they want as a matter of fact. But then end up doing something completely different?

Or, is the problem we, or more specifically I, believe what will give us purpose is the job we do or the industry we are in. Maybe I’m missing the point?

I wonder if, to live our purpose, the best approach is to not worry about the industry you make the difference in is. Maybe what you are here on this earth to do is to bring the person you are in every moment, regardless of industry. 

So for me, the question I ponder now is not how to find my purpose and live it, but how do I make sure I am able to let 100% of my personality out every day. How am I able to be me, regardless of the situation I’m in?

So I ask you.

Are you, you 100% of the time?

Rock and Roll


PS. Whats the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

So Fu*+ing What?

I want to do what ever I can to help you get what you want. 

My goal is to help you understand what you want, define it and demonstrate how it differs from what you have been asking for.  

I want to teach you how to hear what people are truly saying, read what they are not, show you how to better understand others, how to communicate your desires to anyone, how to build strong connections with people, understand your self better, understand your helpful and hindering strategies, and help you build psychological resources that increase your probability of success.

I care about the people looking for answers and want to figure them selves out. 

I see my self as a part of the Personal Development movement, probably not Tony Robbins or Zig Ziglar, but a part of it.

I want to make sure every person searching for help will find the answers they seek. 

I want to keep sharing with you the books, gurus, activities and tools that have helped me achieve success and help me understand who I am. 

Simply put, I want everyone to have success and help them get there. 

So who do I think you are? 

Who am I talking about? 

Who do I want to talk with?

I want to talk with you and I think you are curious, you want to know what makes you, you,you want something more from life than a 9-5 job, you believe you are destined to make a difference, you desperately want to understand what that is, and you want to live it daily. 

I believe you are frustrated with speaking and not being heard, frustrated with people in general, frustrated with their reactions to the world around them and to you.

I think you walk through book stores waiting for ‘that book’ to jump out at you, the one that will give you the answers you are looking for. 

You follow Gary Vee (http://instagram.com/garyvee), Seth Godin (http://www.sethgodin.com/sg), Grant Cardone (https://grantcardone.com) and (insert every other inspirational person here) on Facebook/twitter/Instagram etc and love hearing what he/she/they have to say and at the same time you hate them a little bit and they annoy you, and there are 20 other people like them that inspire you to be a better you, but it still hasn’t clicked for you, yet. 

You were, are or have been looking for love and want to have a family and at the same time you get lost in social media, news, videos, Netflix, drinking, talking shit and all those other distractions. 

And every now and again you wake up and ask what you are doing with your life. 

Some times you are jealous of the success your peers have and you think you would find happiness if you had their job, partner or pay.

Ultimately I believe you are searching for your purpose and for something that will give your life meaning. 

The reason I know you think these things, is because I think and I believe them. 

And I know I am not some special and unique individual that is alone in my thinking. 

Though my experiences might be different to yours, I am still a human being just like you. 

So what, who the fuck am I?

Most importantly I am a husband and I am a father. 

I found the love of my life and we made a mother fucking human and it is the best thing I have ever done. 

I am obsessed with making sure I leave my human imprinted with my values, ideals, beliefs and strategies (at least the good ones). 

I want her to learn how to be a good human, how to ad value to the world and make a positive difference in the world. 

I want to die having left her lots of money, property, intellectual property that turns a profit, books, businesses and anything else that can fund her dreams. 

And I want her to not need it. 

I hope what I leave behind gives her everything her kids need to have success and that this lasts for every generation after her. 

Next, I identify my self as an entrepreneur by night and a business analyst by day.

I love working with people, love teaching people, helping people, basically anything to do with people. 

I have spend thousands and thousands of dollars studying body language, 

micro expressions, neuro linguistic programming (NLP), hypnosis, marketing, business, project management, and 

basically anything that has anything to do with all of that. 

Plus I read and read and read a lot!

I have run seminars for 5 – 150 people, teaching anything from communication styles (https://robertway.com.au/2015/11/05/vak-observation-activity/) to change management (https://robertway.com.au/2017/03/20/4matt-of-change/).

But again, so fucking what, what do I believe?!

I believe, like you, in searching for my purpose. 

I believe in making a difference in the world, that we all have something unique and valuable to give, that we should spend our entire lives trying to figure out what our purpose is and live it daily.

I believe connections with people matter and

that we all should put time into connecting with people like us (not everyone ever).

I believe we all should get everything that we want out of life, which is what I want to help you with, here and more.

Now I have been writing this while flying to Tasmania. 

I find my self in this moment, not knowing how to finish this rant, that was suppose to be one paragraph.

All I can think of is Woddy Harrelson in Zombieland (https://g.co/kgs/CfHn97) and how he said goodbye……. “that will do pig, that will do”.

Rock and Roll


What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?

Change, Steps to take when a person doesn’t want to change

People don’t want to change.

We get wedded to doing things in a certain way and we want to keep doing it that way. And more times than not, the reason people resist, is because they haven’t been asked about the change and they don’t feel heard when asked.

So if you are working with someone that does not want to change , there are a few things you can try. Before you consider parting ways, which might be the right thing to do in the end.

Step 1: Ask

What is the issue

What do they want

Step 2: Listen

What do they say

Does it still enable the outcome of the change or block it

Step 3: Validate What you heard

Repeat what you heard

Make sure they agree you have understood them

Step 4: Provide Options 

Offer the person access to:

  • A new teams
  • A new roles
  • Training
  • Personal Leave
  • A mentor


Step 5: Ask if they want to leave

And let them if they want to.

If you have done everything in your power to help someone get on board and they decide that is not for them, the damage a person like that can do to change in an organisation is far greater then the cost of a redundancy.

Rock and Roll


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Change, tips for resolving resistance and conflict

I am going to assume you have been following my blogs on change to date, which means you know the answer to the 4matt of change, you know your outcome, you know the rub points, you have been able to answer what you are moving towards and away from and you have clearly communicated all these things to your team. Even with all this preparation, you are still hitting blockers.

If this is the case, there are a few things you are going to want to do. One of which starts by reading ‘Communicating Like a Boss‘ and going right to the section on ‘Rapport’. Key to your success with helping someone resistance to change, is going to be your ability to build ‘Rapport’ with them (you can also check out ‘Phone Rapport‘ and you will get the general sense of building rapport).

Next you are going to want to find why they are resistant, why don’t they want to change, what is it about the outcome they don’t agree with. Keeping in mind, this is not the time to win the person over, it is the time to listen and validate with them that you have heard what they said. This is easily done by repeating back what you think they said and ensuring they agree that you understand.

Next, you want to find out what they would want to happen differently, not with the promise of changing the change, but providing them an opportunity to give their thoughts and be considered.

Finally, agree to come back to the issue one hour/day/week from this moment and talk about the outcome and to see if their position has changed and if they still want to take part in the change……..

Wait, what…….. I feel like there is something important there?

If people do not want to be a part of change, you legitimately need to consider that they may not want to work in this environment any more and that should be provided as an option with no hard feelings. Sometimes when things change, those changes impact peoples values, beliefs and reasons for working for a company. You need to be prepared that people will leave, depending on the gravity of a change.

Now, with that out of the way, what other things can you do to help overcome change resistance?

  1. Enable peer to peer bitching
    • Giving people a recourse free way to bitch and moan about a change can be very cathartic and enable them to get on board with the change (so long as it does not get in the way of their work or negatively impact customers perception of the team).
  2. Listening
    • Providing the team access to multiple mediums to be heard including: open conversations, suggestion boxes, email addresses  and any other form a person might like to use to communicate in their own unique way.
    • Keep in mind, it is highly likely that the change is happening, regardless of what team members might think or say. With this in mind, spend lots and lots of time listening and very little time trying to convince people it is the right thing for them and that they should get on board.
  3. Defining your place in the new world
    • The ultimate reason people resist change is that they don’t understand their place in the new world order. If you want to help people get past their issue with change, you need to clearly spell out how they will be a part of the business going forward and that they are valuable to the success of the team going forward.
    • When doing this, make sure it is not a group email out, to get the best results talk with people one on one to communicate this.

If you have done all of this and there are still issues, it is time to move onto the next change topic, steps to take when a person doesn’t want to change.

Rock and Roll


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Change; what’s the rub?

If you cannot answer the question, “whats the rub”, then you don’t know your customer, your staff, or how the change is going to impact your business.

One of the most key things to your success is understanding exactly how your change will impact your team and your customers. It will require you to put your self in others shoes to get a sense of how they will take the change. By putting your self in someone else’s shoes, you will be able to have more empathy for the impact it will have on them.

One activity I have done multiple times to get other people perspectives on a situation, is an activity called ‘Perceptual Positions‘. The short version of this activity is to do the following:

“We are changing X and it will impact everyone in Y way”

  1. Looking at this from your own perspective, what is the impact and issues you will experience?
  2. Looking at this from members of staff and/or customers perspectives, what is the impact and issues they will experience (as if you were them)?
  3. Looking at this from an outside observers perspective, what is the impact and issues you can see everyone experiencing (as if you were the observer, observing the change happening to others)?

If you can imagine your self through this exercise, you should end up with a good list, from multiple perspectives, on the issues and challenges associated with implementing a change.

Check out the ‘Perceptual Positions‘ activity for more details on how to be successful with this activity.

Rock and Roll


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?


Change; a possible mindset

“Ultimately I don’t care how we get there, I support the outcome”

If your team knows the outcome of a change and they all agree they want to get there, how hard the change is or how it is executed can be pushed past if people can get their minds to ‘I support the outcome’.

So the question you need to answer is, what is the big picture? What is the outcome?

The short version of my blog on Goal Setting and Outcomes is:

  1. State in the positive exactly what you want
  2. Ensure it is focused towards what you want

If you can answer these two things, and your team wants what you state, then the mindset of “Ultimately I don’t care how we get there, I support the outcome” just might be in reach for you and your team.

Rock and Roll


P.S. What’s the one thing you don’t do, that would cause the most positive change in your life?





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